Check-It-Out

Purpose
Research shows that when we give students explicit strategies for dealing with
conflict—strategies that bring an otherwise invisible process to the surface—we help
them internalize healthy models of conflict resolution. Students who have already
mastered Talk It Out can practice Check It Out, a less formal alternative that allows
two students with a conflict to discuss the situation and find a win-win solution.

Breaking It Down
Check It Out is for conflicts involving two students. It differs from
Talk It Out in that it allows for more complex discussion about a
problem.

The steps students follow in the Check It Out process are:
1. Each student states an “I” Message, which the other
student then paraphrases.
2. The first student asks a question that delves deeper
into the reasons for the conflict by seeking to discover
the other student’s point of view.
3. The two students continue talking and asking
questions until they understand each other’s opinions
of the conflict.
4. Together, the students work toward and agree to a
win-win solution.

Fine-Tuning the Technique
■ Since this is a less-scripted approach to conflict resolution, introduce Check
It Out only after the students are comfortable with the more formal steps of
Talk It Out. Keep a printed sheet with the Check It Out process for students to
consult when conflicts arise.

■ As with Talk It Out, you will need to spend time modeling and analyzing this process with the students. They will not master it on their own. Introduce it as the students gain comfort with their communication skills. Use scenes from a book or movie to set up a conflict scenario, and, as a class, work through the Check It Out process. You might also ask individual students to role-play a hypothetical conflict.

■ The students must be careful to use cool-down strategies and conflict stoppers to prevent the conflict from getting worse. As the students learn the Check It Out process, monitor from a distance in case you need to intervene and remind them of the steps or help set them back on the path toward peace.

■ If the students are unable to resolve a particular situation, steer them toward the more scripted Talk It Out process.