College Confessionals: How have I been doing?

“You will always be growing. You will always be expanding. Just enjoy and learn from this version of you. It’s okay to be here.” Quote provided by Eternal Sunshine, Meditation App.

Hey everybody! For many of us, it’s now been weeks of solitary confinement, I mean social distancing. Whether that be from school, jobs, going to the gym, or even hanging out with your friends. In the last couple of weeks, I’ve especially been asked how I’ve been managing and if I am doing okay.

I think the question to really ask is, how have I gotten this far. Before I delve deep into my personal life and share matters with a bunch of internet strangers, here’s a disclaimer. Disclaimer: If you are in a vulnerable place and feel you may need help, please reach out to someone you trust or healthcare professional. Stay safe.

So, how have I gotten this far? Have I stocked up on thousands of self-help books and perused the free courses offered by Harvard University? Or decided to meditate for 12 hours straight until I have achieved maximum self-enlightenment. While in theory, I was doing all of those things, it only served as a temporary fix to a lot of my problems. I noticed during this mode of self-isolation my biggest problem was patience.

Patience for myself, patience for others, and patience that things were going to get better. I’ll admit, in the beginning, I started off strong thinking that if I just found skills for myself that I would make it through this. I blew through book after book and free course after course thinking that it would fix the fear and impatience that was quickly starting to come to the surface. Nobody was offering pats on the backs or care packages for the amount of fear and sadness that was clearly taking over. Is this the new reality? Will I be stuck at home with a screaming toddler forever? I was impatient. I was quick to solve my growing boredom with recipes and thousands of episodes on Netflix.

And then, the hundreds of zoom meetings hit. It seemed like there was always a zoom meeting, no matter the time of day. Classes that were hands-on and supposedly interactive suddenly became endless lectures that I couldn’t escape. For a while, it seemed helpless. I was drowning under a sea of expectations, missed assignments, and job requirements. Was I really surviving and fighting Quarantine like a boss? But despite all that, seeing teachers work day and night to still give quality lectures gave me hope. Seeing classmates make jokes and share tips on how to get through it, inspired me.

Don’t give up. Whether you’re a teacher, a student, an essential worker, parent or supporter. Be patient with yourself and others as everyone adjusts and adapts to the new normal. It’s okay to have your off days and to feel like you’re not doing well. Understand and appreciate that you and everyone else are doing the best they can.

I believe in you guys! Stay strong and stay home, I know this too will be over soon.